Sometimes waiting is good.
Waiting keeps us from buying the newest 50″ LED TV just because its new.
Waiting keeps us from sticking our foot in our mouth.
Waiting keeps us from jumping too deeply into unhealthy relationships.
Waiting can be good…and it can be bad.
Why do we wait for a crisis, tragedy or life shake ups to encourage people, validate folks or to reveal our affection for them.
At grave sides, around hospital beds or over tear filled pints, we are at our best. It seems that when our world gets turned upside down by sickness, job loss, or a break up, we are on best behavior. We are caring, kind and affirming. We have time and energy to spare for other people and they for us. We can see the bright side of things (even when there isn’t one), we have hope for the future and believe the best in other people.
Recently, I had coffee with a friend who needed to clear the air with me. After our conversation I applauded him for his mature approach to our relational confusion and encouraged him to keep leaning deeply into community and conversation. In turn he encouraged me to be more encouraging.
But why did it take this relational hiccup for me to be kind and validating to him? Maybe if I had acted this way before our conversation we would have never experienced the hiccup or the need for our conversation in the first place. Couldn’t I have said these things to him before our friendship it a rough patch? Oh, course I could have! So, why did I wait?
It costs so little to appreciate people.
Its easy to love people.
Its fun to affirm people, to value them and point out their importance in our lives.